?

Log in

the secret world of innies [entries|friends|calendar]
the secret world of innies

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Introvert songs [07 Jan 2009|03:50pm]

arjayen
[ mood | musical ]

Hey guys. I am in an odd musical mood right now, and I was curious...

What would you consider 'introvert songs?' Songs either describing us, how we see life, or a song that makes us feel better about being constantly misunderstood.

First song that came to my mind was "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. Any other opinions?



Arjayenn

5 comments|post comment

introduction [07 Nov 2008|01:57am]

arjayen
Hey guys. I am another long time member, yet first-time poster.

In my experience, I have found this mindset to help during social activities. Strangers, acquaintances, and classmates know little to nothing about me. Any opinions they form will be from a few threads of information. They do not KNOW me, my history, my motivations, or anything of lasting value. So their mindset will be full of holes and mistakes.

Thus, why should I care about a view that is, at its foundation, erroneous and false?

Of late I have realized a lifetime of not caring for other peoples’ opinions of me has resulted in…me not caring about THEM, period. I am working on ‘loving my fellow man.’ Which is difficult when being around them saps energy. Plus the whole…dare I say…bigotry toward our personality is a constant obstacle.

I look forward to reading more posts in this community!

My motivational thought for the day: I believe in a God of order and balance. Current statistics say that 25% of the population is introverted. So...you COULD look at that and say one of us equals three of them. :-P




Arjayen
1 comment|post comment

[19 Nov 2007|07:10pm]

oneofthese
I think people are so mean nowadays. I really believe that. I don't want that to be true, and I don't think everyone is mean, I just think the level of meanness that is considered allowable is a lot greater than it used to be. I realize I'm speaking in generalities, but this is kind of a hard subject for me to articulate on. I just saw this list of Oprah's Top Blunders of the Year, and I thought it was ridiculous. I'm not a big Oprah fan or anything, but who are they to list her blunders. One of them was her thyroid condition!! I could not believe they wrote that. Another one was that her dog choked to death and she still hasn't gotten over it. Whoever wrote this is just sick. This was on the front page of aol.com on the front page of *their* entertainment news.

Then, today I hear the story of that little girl who killed herself over the mom pretending to be some young boy who had a crush on her. There are no words for how terrible and tragic this is. There was a lady on tv talking about how we have a "vulture culture." I've never heard it put that way, but I think that's the truth. It's survival of the fittest in this country. I don't know if it's like that in other countries because I've never lived in another country. But, I don't think things were this bad in the 80s and 90s. I think it escalated once the net took off.

After watching almost 1 hour of tv, I felt pretty bummed. There are all these stupid commercials about how you need to get rid of wrinkles and lose weight followed by commercials for 1,000 calorie pasta. It is so messed up. I hear so many freakin commercials for anti-wrinkle stuff, it makes me nervous, and I shouldn't even be needing to think about that right now.

I really, really need to find a way to keep myself from being exposed to that b.s. It honestly feels like all these stuff is pathological. I take that back, it is pathological. It's so twisted and destructive. Unfortunately, it feels like I'm addicted to watching tv at least part of the time. If nothing else, I need to commit to always muting/ignoring commercials.

I also hate having to look at the aol screen when I check my email. But I really need to keep my old email address. But they always have ridiculous and hurtful news about some celebrity or just something that is generally depressing and effed up.

*Sigh*
6 comments|post comment

[22 Sep 2007|07:32am]

place_to_hide
How do you deal with family dinners?

I hate family dinners(For most part we have family dinners everytime there's a holiday). My mom is having a Yom Kipper Dinner at her house. I don't do well with family dinners. Last time we went to country club for my grandma's birthday about month ago, and my aunt made me angry. But I didn't show it too much.

I feel more introverted than anyone in my family. Everyone else seems like extroverts.

And I don't like getting any attention. Where my relatives ask me questions. I just kind of like to be left alone.  Well usually I play with my cousin's little boys because their not going ask me questions and stuff. They just wanna play. One of them is 2 years old and other is 3 years old.

Since I'm working today for 8 hours and then going to this dinner , I'm going probably be drained,dealing with my family after work.
post comment

hello folks. [05 Sep 2007|04:38pm]

dozy_doats
Hi, I'm an introvert in that my base in life is inside of me, not outside. I can live alone. I don't need "relationships" with people. Sharing things I do with others makes me feel like I'm "whoring out" rather than activating the thing. Most people like to share themselves and their accomplishments but the moment I have to share something, it starts to feel like I'm just a slave catering to other people's entertainment.

Not all introverts are shy and insecure, just like not all extroverts are confident.

I'm not shy. I could very easily give a speech. I'm fine at parties (they kind of annoy me though). I'm confident when debating or sharing my ideas if the opportunity arises. People don't scare me, if anything, I'm the one who's rather intimidating. My mom used to say I was a "bitch" even though I never gave her any problems and was always very quiet, whereas my extroverted sister is the one she likes more, despite the fact that she has caused more problems and done a lot of "bad" things.

Socially I just don't like the feeling of being watched and known and all that kind of stuff. In fact, it's very hard for me to even know if people like me or are pay attention to me, because it's turned out to be that in several situations I had gained attention and admiration that I had been completely oblivious to. It's very difficult to know where I am socially. Its almost as if I'm "blind" to it.

Along the same vein, it's extremely difficult to know when guys are interested in me. It's been revealed in the past that certain situations I was involved in where guys were present, that so-in-so or so-in-so had a crush on me, but I never even knew. It's probably the reason why I've never had any boyfriends, because I'm not ugly and I can cook. The signals they might be sending out never get to me. But then again, aren't they supposed to talk to you and stuff? I'll never know. Unless they tell me outright I'm pretty much blind to what other people think about me.

I don't like to consider introversion some kind of condition that is abnormal. It's a way of being that's perfectly valid and I don't want to be treated special because of it, or felt sorry for, or any of that. And I'm glad to be one because all the people I've known in my life who are "messed up" are extroverts. At least I'm comforted with knowing my source of being is within me, and not out in the unreliable world like those poor saps.

A question for others here would be, how do you get along online? I just started a livejournal, after years of very light activity on the internet. Every day I have thoughts about deleting this thing, it feels like a leak in my boat. I've even become mildly depressed at times, and "dry withdrawing" from life. I think I'm trying to make up for all that's being exposed here by climbing into a shell that I'm pretty much already in. Does anybody else have that problem? What do you think I ought to do?
1 comment|post comment

A bit of an introduction [17 May 2006|04:32pm]

iramoved
When I was younger, I was very introverted.  I was so shy that I was practically mute.

But I was not happy.  I did not have the ability to speak my mind, nor interact with people.  When I was a child, I had one real friend.  I was so scared of humiliating myself in front of people that I my social interaction skills suffered.  Intellectually, I was miles ahead of my peers.  Socially, I was far behind.

When I was 16, I had the first in a series of total emotional breakdowns.  For the first time, I had the courage to speak my mind and interact with people.  I just didn't care anymore.   I wasn't scared anymore because I didn't really want to live.  I didn't really care what anyone felt:  good, bad, or indifferent. 

But I didn't really know how to communicate.  Lots of people who did not understand thought I was strange, weird, or creepy.   Our teenage years are uncomfortable and awkward, regardless who we are and whether or not we were popular.   As such, I found myself mocked, feared, and reviled.  And I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't resent the way I was treated.
Since that point, I have tried to advocate for people who do not have the courage, nor the inclination, nor the ability to speak out and feel understood.  I certainly know what it is like to feel utterly alone.  I want to be the sort of person for others that I did not have in my own life.  No one reached out to me then.  Maybe they didn't know how.  Maybe they were too wrapped up in their own concerns.

But I wish someone would have.   I have tried to keep myself honest and when I get too engrossed in my own private drama, I make a point to step back and do my best to inform and protect people.  I know that we all have free will and I know that some will heed advice, some scorn it, and some ignore it. 

But I feel as though I've accomplished something if I've made a difference in someone else's life. 
7 comments|post comment

[26 Apr 2005|11:16pm]

blackwoyde
[ mood | pleased ]

I just thought I'd say hello and that I never realised I was an introvert until I'd taken some tests and I'd seen this community. I'm a loner and I'm really quiet, it takes me ages to get up the courage to speak in public, and when I meet up with people I can only be with them so long before I start feeling uneasy and want to leave. Some people used to say things about me not being outgoing and not going out as often as everyone else and it made me feel insecure, but now I'm starting to feel okay with how I am.

I came across this site a few weeks ago but I didn't say anything and now I have, I'm glad.

post comment

why do I have to be Mr.Pink? [09 Feb 2005|03:52pm]

europa01
[ mood | hungover ]

hi
My name is Melissa, I'm 19 and I go to school in Chicago, IL.
I'm a history/Fiction major..no I don't write fictional history..

Livejournal.com is mentioned in Sasha Cagen's Quirkyalone, a book my mom lent me to give me a break from all the Charles Bukowski and Syliva Plath I've been reading. No I'm not a extremely depressed, angry or drunk person I just haven't been able to read for pleasure for awhile due to college. So I decided see if there was a large community for Quirkyalone, which obviously there is. I thought I'd post and say Hello.
If your interested, another book that is related to the whole loner subculture is Party of One by Anneli Rufus, I loved this book because of how many topics it covered, how it didn't celebrate being alone as a badge or label but as a way of life. Also how it shows both negative and postive examples of loners in society and societies reactions to them.

I hope everyone had a drunken, fun and blurry Fat Tuesday

melissa

6 comments|post comment

New. [03 Feb 2005|06:58pm]

killthepta
I found this community a little while ago but I've been putting off introducing myself because I don't know exactly what I want to say, but I'll try anyway. To start off, hi, I'm Alynne.

I didn't know I was an introvert until about a year ago, actually. We were doing a test in school to see which careers we were best suited for. It was actually four tests in one, each one testing a different aspect of your personality. When the results that I was an intorvert came up, along with the other results, that was the only one that surprised me. I have a lot of friends and once you get me talking I won't stop, and I love to go out and be around people. Then the woman who was giving the exam explained that being introverted doesn't necessarily make you shy; it just means you need time to yourself to recharge and get your energy back.

That really made sense to me. After a night out I'm exhausted, but once I get home I need to take some time to read or think before I can fall asleep. Sometimes (okay, often), I'll lie to my friends and just take a night at home to myself. There is nothing I love more than an empty house. When I'm out, I get really tired by the end of the night and if I don't get to go home when I want to I get really bitchy. All of this, suddenly, made sense.

Of course when I told my mom I was an intorvert, she wasn't the least bit surprised. She claims to have always known. (Which I honestly don't doubt because no one knows me better than my mom.) I'm glad she understands, because otherwise it would be really hard-going at home. Unfortunately right now, I am a nanny in France, living with the family. They don't understand that I need personal space, especially the little boys. It's hard, but I've explained to the parents that it's just the way I am, and I think they're beginning to understand.
2 comments|post comment

introversion and volunteer work [03 Jan 2005|02:35am]

macabre_grrl
[ mood | sleepless ]

This is a rather unusual topic. I'd like to do more volunteer and charity work. If I had the money, I would donate a lot. But I do not, so that leaves volunteering. But the thing is, volunteer jobs seems to involve contact with people. Lots of people, different people who require someone who adapts easily to the variety. The thought of this overwhelms me and I can feel the exhaustion rising already.

I can't do this. I'm fairly good at keeping up a warm and friendly sensibility, but it wears thin. At times, people sometimes think I am downright cold, emotionally, and I agree with that description of my demeanor. I don't react to a lot of strong-emotion-sitations with the proper performance. There's not much that I can reliably do about it, it's just how I am.

And as much as I love animals, I'm not really good with them. I'd prefer to slowly get used to my own dog or cat than deal with one after another. And as an introvert, I'm not up to being super active with one animal after another at random. Again, hard to explain, but relevant when I'm trying to be realistic about what I can offer to people. It's only fair to everyone.

But what does that leave me? I could stuff envelopes or knit for the homeless, but it's too easy to put that kind of work off when you're a swamped college kid. I hate to say it, but a lot of volunteer jobs don't look like something that I could maintain for any length of time (I may be selling myself short, who knows?). Sometimes I also think that what little time I have left over from school would be best spent trying to earn a little money for myself to supplement my financial aid, but I feel guilty about this.

I guess I'm in a tough spot that's exacerbated by my personality. Other college kids do tons of volunteer work, so why can't I? Because....

post comment

Intro... [28 Nov 2004|03:35am]

zyshi
[ mood | listless ]

Well, I have seen a few introduction posts, and since I recently joined... voila!

As it is, I suppose a general overview should suffice: I am a female in my late teens who is currently attending the community college in my area and working toward my General Studies degree (and high school diploma {at the same time}), after which I will transfer to Middlebury (yay!) College as a (hopefully) junior. I have always known that my social tendencies vary a bit from the norm, but within the last year or so have begun to realize how much time I need to myself {reading, thinking, just -being-} in order to be a well-functioning member of society and academia.

I consider my dogs (Fredi, Bastian, Murphy - all Border Collies;) to be my most steadfast companions, and sincerely hope I can take Fredi (the one out of the three who is really -mine-) to college with me when I move back East. I find solace in long walks during excessively cold nights when the moon shines brightly enough to cast a shadow, and have absolutely no idea why I just wrote that. Perhaps to highlight my nature as a tried and true night owl, as it seems the only time when it is possible to really and truly be alone without disturbances upon my solitude is in the deep of the night. Exhibit A: I just glanced at the clock, and the current time is 3:56 AM. ^_^

I really need to get to sleep earlier sometimes.

Nice to meet you all.

2 comments|post comment

[26 Nov 2004|08:34pm]

_deadpan
Hi, I just joined a few minutes ago and when joining communities, I rarely have an introduction post, so here goes...

My name's Rachel. I'm sixteen years old. I've been an introvert my entire life. I was raised by my grandmother mostly due to the fact my parents were seperated and my mother was working, so I didn't spend much time around anyone younger than 40. I had a few friends that would come and go throughout grammar school, but lost nearly all of them around 8th grade. I went to a private school where I made about 5 friends - the most I've ever had. When I left that school for public school, I never sat with anyone at lunch or talked to anyone in the hallways or classrooms. Many people actually thought I was a mute. Schoolwork surrounded every aspect of my life, and I developed constant muscle spasms and was later diagnosed with Chronic Myofascial Pain. Now I'm homeschooled, so I rarely leave my house (twice a week, tops). Besides just naturally gravitating towards being alone, I have come to barely stand being around anyone but myself. I'm afraid of going to college. I'm afraid that I'll have to meet new people and develop relationships with others when really I just want to run home and bury my head in a book and eventually fall asleep. My mother doesn't believe me, but I'm happy with my life. I really am. My only complaint is that my mother constantly wants more for me. She tells me she loves how good of a child I am, but she wishes that I'd make friends and "be normal" like she was. If I didn't have her telling me, I would've assumed I was normal.
5 comments|post comment

I HAVE A BURNING QUESTION [21 Nov 2004|09:16pm]

gurulingamstone
[ mood | DO I SENSE A PATTERN. . . ? ]

If anyone has an opinion on any of these subjects (which I feel are actually deeply related), I would greatly appreiate it. . . .

  •  Is it more common for those considered to be introverts to be fundamentally more or less independent than extroverts.
  • Also, is it more or less common for introverts to procrastinate?  Does anyone see this as a common trait of introverts, that they would much rather dream or not do what they think they think/feel is their responsibility?
  • Another question: do introverts feel they are walked on by life or struggling more in life than happily meeting its challenges, as opposed to what they may feel about extroverts and their outlook on life.
4 comments|post comment

introvert intro [21 Nov 2004|08:33pm]

acqueerphilly
[ mood | contemplative ]

Hello, fellow introverts! I am happy to have stumbled upon this community and hope to see it grow! I have been an introvert my entire life. My childhood was wrought with teachers, family members, and peers trying to change me, to make me talk, etc. This, of course, only made me feel less like talking and has made me feel alien and flawed much of my life, though in recent years I am starting to become more proud of my need for time to be introspective. Nevertheless, it ain't easy being an introvert in an extrovert's world!

I am less shy than I once was, though I am still an introvert in essence. Things like speaking in class (I'm in a master's English lit program) still make me unbearably anxious at times, and often when I speak, I feel as though people are looking right through me, as though I haven't said anything at all. I'm working on trying to overcome my anxiety so that I don't fail to participate in things that would benefit me, but it's a tough road.

I'm trying to balance appreciating my way of being with not letting it limit me more than I would like. It just sometimes feels like there's a barrier between me and much of the world. And unfortunately, the introverts of the world very rarely have a chance to communicate with one another. Or, at least, it's harder, I think, for us to find one another...

So yay for a community of introverts! :)

1 comment|post comment

random thoughts [19 Nov 2004|10:20pm]

diabolic_fey
[ mood | pensive ]

I've always thought about the type of person I am and about how solitary and inward I could be, but discovering this community has made me ponder things more and more, these past few days. It's mostly just idle thought, but things are starting to become more lucid for me; they're beginning to make more sense. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm looking inside myself more than I ever did before. I feel like I'm starting to know who I am a little more. I've been on this endless quest to figure out who this person I am in this existence is. Granted, I haven't gotten a grip of the whole picture, yet, but, at least I'm finding new pieces. Maybe its okay to see only the fragments, because if I were to get the full view already, what other meaning would my life have? I mean, isn't that the point of life, to keep on discovering? I'm only 27 years old; I don't want the mystery to unveil itself for me, yet. I still want new experiences, and I don't want to feel like there's nothing else to find out in life, because then this little life of mine would be beyond stagnant, not to mention, useless! I'm just so afraid of losing the richness in life. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I feel a sudden urge to meet some fresh faces or to change my location. Actually, I only moved out, on my own, once; I moved to Maine over two years ago (an impulsive move), and I recently moved back to NY (Long Island, that is). I would, in fact, like to live in Maine, again, because there's so much I haven't explored, yet, but due to circumstances, I had to move back to this ultra fast-paced state with my mom. What a polarity, huh? I go from NY to Maine, and back again. Lets see, NY has many places to go and more job opportunities; while Maine, on the other hand, has beautiful surroundings, friendly people, and I found a peace of mind--post culture-shock! Anyway, in each place I was searching, searching for myself, searching for spirituality (not to be mistaken for religion), or actually, I was probably not searching for a while; maybe a needed a break from searching, or maybe I never need to search at all. I guess now I need to relax and just go out, get decked out and enjoy music and essentric people, even though I spout about how much I need to dwell like a hermit. Well, secrets out! I'm known to often contradict myself! It's all in how I feel at the time; its all momentary.
Geez, I thought I knew where I was going with this when I started writing, but now I think I'm losing my train of thought. Darn, I hate when that happens! Well, if anyone had the patience enough to read this, thank you so so much, and I hope I don't seem too crazy. I just happen to go with the impulsive thoughts and feelings; I can't help myself sometimes. I also wanted to give some insight to where I'm coming from. Thank you all again. I shall finally end this here, because I made this entry too long, and I'm extremely tired. Bye, for now.

post comment

oooh! [18 Nov 2004|12:49am]

macabre_grrl
The book has arrived!

I dove right in, and already I had a gush of aha! In ways that I never expected as well, such as the myth-busting section. I was a little afraid that I would already know all of it, or see really familiar themes. But it's nothing at all like I expected!

It's also interesting to think about the uniquenesses of my temperment. The most glaring difference in me is that I like huge crowds and big parties. One on one contact is very stressful to me because I can't go somewhere and unwind after literally five or ten minutes of contact. The pressure is on to talk and connect in a sustained manner. The reason why I like big groups is because I can hide in them. The attention is diffused by the volume. I can talk to a person for a moment or two and then move on without being awkward. And if I'm being my usual quiet, observant self, no one is going to come up to me and ask probing questions about it. I can blend in. The other thing is that I have a very short attention span and can't focus on one item for too long. I have to bounce bounce bounce from one thing to another. I *do* cast a wide net as well as a deep one.

One thing that I also like about this book is that I have more insight into what I am like, and thus choose better ways of dealing with certain things. I also suffer from social anxiety disorder and mild schizoid personality disorder. It's very nice to be able to know what's what.
post comment

The somewhat shy, introverted newby!! [14 Nov 2004|02:19pm]

diabolic_fey
[ mood | indifferent ]

Hey all!!! I just joined this community; it is my life-line, right now, since I feel like a social ditz in person. Maybe it has something to do with being almost deprived, when I was younger, of what others percieve as a "normal" social-life. Lets see, I daydream, quite often, and I'm still trying to find my purpose in life, whether it be something divine or on a mundane level. Sometimes, when I'm deep in thought, I tend to philosophize about any random thing, but unfortunatly, due to my crappy memory, I wind forgeting my awsome contemplations, later on. I guess I'm so glued to my own thoughts and imagination, that I start to become unfocused, and everything seems fuzzy.
Forgive me for dragging on about this and that, but I'm sooo happy to have found this community, and I'm looking foward to meeting/chatting with others who share this common denominator. I now feel an added ounce of peace with myself!! Thanks to anyone for being patient enough to read this.
-Nancy (-:

1 comment|post comment

verts and expression [13 Nov 2004|03:15pm]

autumnsshadow
[ mood | calm ]

had an interesting conversation over dinner last night about how introverts express themselves as it differs from extroverts.

it was stated that extroverts are more likely to express their emotions than introverts and that introverts are more likely to keep their feelings to themselves. based on my experiences, i only half agreed. i've found that extroverts are more likely to express a gut reaction to something that is going on, no matter who is around, but keep their deeper emotions quite guarded even in trusted company. introverts, on the other hand, seem to be more likely to express just about anything depending on their comfort level with the people around them. at least, i find that's the case with me.

any thoughts?

2 comments|post comment

hello [12 Nov 2004|09:02pm]

macabre_grrl
Hello turtles! I'm 22, female, finishing my fifth year of college.

I've been introverted my whole life: few friends, preferring to stay inside and sit still, very few outward shows of emotion, great difficulty talking to people due to stress.

Stress? I never knew why exactly, only that I had to have a long time to recharge after hanging out with people. In fact, no amount of recharging was fully satisfactory, and it cut into my social life. Still does. I feel like I'm running on a permanent deficit of social evergy and it's very annoying.

I'm not really shy though. Timid maybe, but not shy. At one point in elementary school, I tried to stop it and did fairly well in trying to be more...something. I thought I had no personality, so I worked to make it interesting. I became known for who I was (weird) and that satisfied people. I gave the illusion of being extroverted, but kept everyone at such a distance that I fell quietly through the social cracks.

This kind of stuff was overshadowed by crazy parents, major depression, and a bunch of other mental problems not otherwise specified. Once I got to college, I vowed two things: I would cure the depression and I would become a friendly social person with a nice bunch of friends, the kind of friends that I saw everyone else enjoying.

Everyone else lives in a world where friendships are possible beyond a first introduction. They tell great stories about all the fun they have together and get amazing amounts of homework done without burning out every two seconds. It's a world that fascinates me and saddens me.

There's a difference between being happily alone and craving social activities but not knowing how to make or sustain them.

I am eagerly awaiting a book from the library about introverts so that I can learn how to manage myself. And still, there are several mental problems that need ironing out. I can accept certain parts of my nature, but other parts interfere with my daily life and the goals I want to achieve, especially lately. The introversion and social anxiety is much worse, and I have yet to learn how to manage my time. I used to be a good student, but over the years I have begun to behave more and more like a distracted third grader when it comes to planning my time. It's worrisome.

I have the habit of thinking that everyone else is basically like me (introverted) but have somehow conquered it. It makes me feel like a failure, but I sincerely cannnot imagine what it's like to have a lot of energy and an easy way with people. These people are actually naturals, but I have no way of imagining what that mindset feels like. It's a habit I ought to break, but I'm not totally sure if I am wrong or right.

I hope this community fills up over time. Maybe we can have topics to discuss, like about jobs, caring for others, managing activities, etc.

Anyway, 'nuff rambling. I'll go back to the cave now.
2 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]